Back in the days when I actually had a job, I would procrastinate by googling future places to travel (prospective employers, please ignore the previous sentence). During one Google session, I came across a list entitled, ‘the coolest hotels in the world’. One of these hotels just happened to be in California, and it was called The Madonna Inn. As soon as I saw photos of their insanely pink colour scheme, I knew we had to add it as a stop to the road trip.
We arrived on a sunny Monday afternoon and were given free neon pink travel coffee flasks upon check in. Our room, Floral Fantasy, was everything I had hoped for. A pink velvet sofa, matching curtains, pink carpet, pink bedding and a gorgeous floral light arrangement around the bathroom mirror. We opened up the (also pink) wardrobe door to find two soft, fluffy, baby pink robes waiting for us. Dreamy.
It was a beautiful day so we headed straight for the infinity pool. We sunbathed with a glass of Madonna Inn’s own champagne in hand, which sadly tasted horrendous. The cocktails were much better though! We had a very relaxing afternoon hopping from pool to jacuzzi until night started to fall.
For dinner, we skipped the crazy expensive steakhouse at the hotel and instead opted for a local Hawaiian eatery called Poke Chef, about a 5 minute drive from The Madonna Inn. We both had incredible poke bowls and yummy fruit juices. The majority of their options are gluten free so I didn’t feel at all restricted.
Once back at the hotel, we headed into the main building. They have everything you could want; a wine cellar that offers tastings, a shop that sells popcorn and chocolate for movie nights in the hotel room, a boutique clothes store, a cocktail bar, a spa, horse stables and two different restaurants. Every single area is STUNNING. You mustn’t miss the restrooms! If you have a guy with you, and don’t mind getting dirty looks from other patrons, get them to show you the downstairs toilet. I haven’t seen many urinals in my time, but I’m pretty sure these are the most original ones I’ll ever see!
After skulking strangely around the men’s restroom, we headed to the cocktail bar for a few drinks. I started with their signature drink, The Pink Cloud. It was basically just vodka, cream and pink sugar blended and tasted like a milkshake! It was a heart attack in a glass so I went for red wine next because red wine is practically a salad, right?
We had planned to cycle their bike trails early the next morning before check out, but upon finding out that they charge $25 a bike, we slept in instead. Another fun thing about The Madonna Inn is that their in-room toilets are what I would call ‘robo-toilets’ because they have a very fancy remote control panel on them and can do all sorts of random, completely unnecessary things, like providing the equivalent of a hand dryer for your arse.
Once checked out, we got on our way to Monterey. I’ll admit I didn’t know much about Monterey except that it was the filming location for the recent (and absolutely excellent) TV show, Big Little Lies. It turns out that Monterey is one of the most amazing place that we’ve seen in California so far! It’s an absolute must-visit in my opinion. We saw Bixby Bridge, explored Big Sur, drove the 17 mile scenic route and took in so many stunning views. We need to come back because there’s loads we didn’t have time to see, and I already can’t wait to visit again!
Monterey has a Fisherman’s Wharf, and while it isn’t a patch on San Fran’s area of the same name, it’s a very cute place to have dinner. Basically every restaurant is seafood which suited me very nicely! We checked out all the menu’s and eventually decided on Albonetti because it was one of the only places that labeled their gluten free options. We got seated with a view of the water and were able to watch sea lions swimming around as we ate our dinner. I went for the Monterey Calamari dish and while a little heavy on the garlic, it was still very good.